Questions & Answers
For more perspective into how I work, here are my answers to some questions I've been asked.
Q: What is therapy and how could it help me?
A: Therapy is one of the few places that is all about you! Focusing on and tending to yourself is powerful stuff!
Therapy is a space to slow down and sense into more parts of yourself.
In the midst of your busy life, you can fall out of touch with who you are and what matters most to you. Therapy is an opportunity to check in and reconnect with yourself: your needs, wants, thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams. It's a way to get back on the same page with yourself.
The spaciousness of having a set time and place to reflect can help you gain a fuller picture of who you are, what you want, and what may be getting in the way. Together, we can work to explore your unique experiences and circumstances as well as your relationship with yourself and others.
I view therapy as a creative process, an endeavor of trust and emergence. Getting in touch with all of the parts of yourself is courageous, vulnerable work that can lead to increased connection with yourself and your world.
Therapy can help you feel less alone with all that is swirling inside you.
Therapy can help you update your coping skills and step up your self-care.
As your therapist, I will accompany you on your journey of finding, being, and loving who you are and living a life that feels true to you and reflects your values.
Q: Why did you choose to become a therapist?
A: I do this work because it changed my life! It brought me from a place of insecurity and angst to a deep and profound acceptance of myself and appreciation for my quirks. This has led to me being able to take ownership of my life in a way that I did not think was possible.
The kind of intentional, grounded support that I felt in therapy has helped me to hold myself in high esteem and be the “me”-est version of myself.
My personal experiences have inspired and motivated me. I know, first-hand, how tough it can be to reach out for support, and I know how valuable and worthwhile it can be too!
I am so proud to offer skillful and sensitive guidance to others who are wanting to get more deeply connected with themselves, their passions, and the people who are important to them.
Q: What is therapy with you like?
A: It's an open and engaged conversation between us. It's an experience of connection, collaboration, and curiosity.
In sessions, we explore what's going on for you- consciously and unconsciously- by focusing on what you say as well as the values, beliefs, and messages that underlie your experiences.
We make space for feelings and allow them to be present and to inform us.
As you share about what's going on for you, I will definitely not "just sit there". I take an active role in helping you be present for yourself and your process. I do this by empathizing with your struggles, pointing out patterns of relating for us to explore, and helping you slow down in order to acknowledge your strengths and celebrate what's working.
Many times, this looks like us sitting together with you talking and me listening. I ask questions to make sure I'm understanding you and to help you flesh out your thoughts and ideas. Sometimes there is silence. Sometimes there is laughter. Sometimes we use movement or art. Each person's therapy has its own rhythm; each session is unique.
While no two sessions will be alike, my positive regard for you and commitment toward your wellness will remain consistent throughout our work together.
Q: What Could I Gain From Therapy?
A: Generally, people come to therapy because they’re having a hard time in some way and they want to feel better. Everyone’s therapy is different because we all have different experiences to process and goals we’re working toward. Some potential outcomes of engaging in therapy are:
Decreasing Feelings of Stress, Overwhelm, Anxiety, and Depression
Increasing Feelings of Calm, Creativity, and Empowerment
Improving your Relationships with Yourself and Others
Managing Self-Doubt and Learning to Trust Yourself
Setting and Maintaining Healthy Boundaries
Gaining Confidence and Assertiveness
Healing from Difficult Experiences
Examining Limiting Beliefs and Replacing them with more Expansive ones
Navigating Life Transitions including Break-ups/Divorce and Career Changes
Exploring Power, Privilege, Oppression, and Intersecting Identities
Strengthening your Sense of Self
Unlocking Your Potential
Getting to Know and Embracing Who You Are
Q: What are some limitations of therapy? What is therapy not?
A: While many people feel better being able to share what's going on for them with a caring witness, it is important to check in about your expectations of how therapy can support you.
Therapy is not a quick fix. It takes time, effort, and consistency for therapy to help you create the deep and lasting changes you'd like to see. Healing is a gradual, non-linear process.
Therapy is not a one-sided relationship. Therapy is about you learning how to tap into your own strength, wisdom, and intuition. It is not about me instructing you on what to do. My role is to accompany you, reflect what I see happening, and offer kind support so that you can take initiative in your life and make empowered choices about what is best for you.
Therapy is not a cure-all. The point of therapy is not to remove challenges from your life. It's to help you rise to meet those challenges and to cultivate compassion for yourself.
Q: How long will therapy take?
A: It totally makes sense to want to feel better as soon as possible; who wouldn’t want that?
There are some things in life that can’t be rushed, and therapy is definitely one of them. Really getting to the core of whatever is keeping you from feeling secure and satisfied is likely going to take time. How long you choose to participate in therapy is up to you. Everyone is different in terms of their goals, the type of support they most need, and the shape that therapy takes. I help clients reflect on the process as we move through it so that we can make sure we’re addressing what’s most important to you.
Therapy is a bit like working out: it’s incremental, it requires a consistent effort, and it builds upon itself. I work with most of my clients for a number of years. The clients that tend to experience the most benefit from therapy are committed to the process and show up weekly ready to dive in and explore.
I love when clients feel better early in our work, and I also know that sustainable shifts tend to be gradual and happen over time. It takes dedication to look within, learn about yourself, increase your skillset, and reinforce what’s new so that it can become more second nature.
Q: is it okay to talk about sex/religion/money or other topics in therapy?
A: Absolutely! It’s very brave to bring up challenging topics, and I really respect it when clients take that risk. I will do my best to put you at ease so that we can be with whatever’s on your mind. You are welcome and encouraged to discuss topics that are often considered societal taboos including: Sex, Sexuality, Gender, Body Image, Religion, Spirituality, Race, Disability, Class, Money, Politics, Trauma, Aging, Mortality and more. Talking about the areas we may feel anxiety, shame, or confusion around to a caring and supportive person usually has a positive effect; we are not meant to carry our concerns all alone. I am happy to hold space for your worries, wonderings, and wants.
Q: What if I don't even know what my problems are or how to put them into words?
A: That's okay! You don't have to know exactly what you'd like to discuss or work on. In my experience, something always shows up verbally or non-verbally. Therapy is about exploring. So, we can explore a specific topic if you wish, or we can discover together whatever arises in the present moment. There's no "right" way to be in therapy, and there's no pressure to be a certain way or plan what to talk about. Just show up as you are, and we'll go from there.
I meet you where you are, and we work together to get you where you want to be.
Q: How will I feel after a therapy session?
A: Any number of ways. Sometimes you may feel relieved to have gotten stuff off your chest. Sometimes you may feel unresolved. Sometimes you may feel energized. Sometimes you may feel tired. Or any combination thereof. The awesome thing about therapy is we get to talk about however you're feeling the next time you come in.
Q: What modalities do you utilize?
A: I have been fortunate to study with a variety of leading teachers and trainers in the field. I draw from a blend of approaches. Here’s a short blurb about a few of the ones that most influence my work:
Modern Relational Psychodynamic theory helps us look at how our past is informing our present. This means exploring how our experiences growing up shaped us and our worldviews. Similarly, Depth Therapy is about bringing what’s unconscious into awareness so we can understand ourselves better and make choices in support of ourselves from a more conscious place.
Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) draws from attachment theory and seeks to undo aloneness through a supportive relationship with the therapist. The individual’s resilience is highlighted and celebrated.
Relationship Recovery Program (RRP) is a model for working with childhood trauma created by Amanda Curtin, LICSW. RRP is an experiential process to help us recognize where our inner child is running us so that we can get our inner adult in place and facilitate a healthy relationship between the two.
Hakomi is a somatic (body-based) approach with the core principles of Mindfulness, Nonviolence, Mind-Body Integration, Unity, Organicity, and Loving Presence.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a modality that supports getting in touch with different “parts” of our self that once served us but may now be holding us back. By gaining clarity on the existing dynamic, we can make systemic shifts that will work better for us in the present.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) helps clients access their Wise Mind and encourages skill-building in the modules of Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotion Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness. DBT helps us practice doing what’s effective in the moment.
Q: Do you work with people who have experienced trauma?
A: Yes, I do! I weave together AEDP, IFS, Hakomi, RRP and other experiential modalities to help bring regulation and relief for people suffering with the effects of trauma.
There are a lot of types and manifestations of trauma, so different people need different things at different times. I am not currently trained in EMDR or Somatic Experiencing, but both can be incredibly beneficial in processing trauma. Sometimes my clients work with additional providers who offer these modalities in addition to the work we’re doing together.
Q: Do you enjoy being a therapist?
A: Yes! I love it! Bearing witness to people moving through struggle is incredibly beautiful, tender work. I find this work to be fulfilling and fascinating. I am deeply inspired by people's stories and resiliency. While there is often humor in our sessions, I don't take it lightly that I am being trusted with the precious details of people's lives. It is truly an honor to be able to sit with people in pain, confusion, and joy and to hold space for their process to unfold.
Photo by Edgar Chaparro on Unsplash
Wondering if I could be a good fit for you? Let's have a conversation.